Body Confidence

All Women Are Beautiful

In the last few months, I have become increasingly aware of the old ‘skinny vs. curvy’ debate. It’s really great to see more and more acceptance for girls who aren’t a ‘perfect’ size 2 and are considered curvy and plus size. What is not great to see, is that in some ways, the roles have been reversed and we are seeing Facebook memes and posts bashing skinny girls in a attempt to raise up curvy girls.

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Popular phrases like ‘real women have curves’ and ‘men like women with meat on their bones’ suggest that those who are naturally slim are not ‘real women’. How awful this must make them feel!

All Women Are Real Women

Recently, the Megan Trainor song ‘All About That Bass’ has been getting a lot of air-time on the radio. It’s a super catchy song and is talked about as being a body acceptance anthem. It is so close, but unfortunately is ruined by some pretty terrible lyrics talking about ‘silicone stick figure barbie dolls’ and ‘skinny bitches’. Also her telling us not to worry about our size and ‘every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top’…..   but only because that’s what the boys like.

Sorry ladies, but you need to love yourself for you and not because that’s what you think a boy will like!

Anyway, I posted this article which perfectly explains how I feel about the song on my facebook page and got a interesting  and to be honest, surprising response from a follower.

She’s not tearing down anyone. Girls refer to their friends as bitches all the time. People just like to play the victim. If the hardest thing you have to deal with as a girl is being called a skinny bitch then stop complaining please. Some of us have real problems.

I’d like to address this topic… Firstly, not everyone calls their friends ‘bitches’ all the time. I certainly don’t and I don’t think the context in the song is using the term in a friendly manner.

Secondly, it’s a mistake to downplay any sort of bullying and especially body bullying. I have never been called too skinny but I can totally sympathise as it is exactly the same as being called too fat. Skinny or curvy, being bullied for your size is a horrible thing to go through, especially as it’s usually in puberty and your teens when you getLove-yourself the brunt of it. Nasty comments from your peers can stay with you for the rest of your life!

Body bullying can really affect some women- it might lead to a eating disorder, depression and unfortunately these can also then lead to suicide. In light of Robin Williams recent death, I think the lesson to take away is to be kind to everyone. If it makes you feel better to bring someone down for how they look, then I think you need to take a look at yourself and your own insecurities and address why you feel the need to act that way.

Most of the ‘hate’ I see online towards women – for instance the very slim The Vintage Doll or the very curvy Tess Munster – is from women. Not men. Women

We get bullied by our peers as teens for our shape, be it skinny or slim, get told by the media that we have to look a certain way and we become insecure and develop low self-esteem. To make ourselves feel better, we then go on to bully someone else and so the cycle continues.

My point is that we are all beautiful, we are all unique, we are all women that come in different shapes and sizes and as soon as we stop waging war with our bodies and with each other, then we can help eliminate the awful cycle of body bullying.

Don’t starve yourself to fit into what society tells us is ‘perfection’. Trust me, once you get there, you will still unhappy. Don’t let those thoughts of ‘I’m too fat’ or ‘I’m not enough’ creep in. Don’t let yourself think nasty thoughts about others become a automatic reaction to seeing a picture of a woman with cellulite. Most of us have it, who cares!

Love yourself for exactly who you are and love your body for all it does for you. Be healthy, nourish your body, be happy and eat cake!

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x Miss Victory Violet

 

Have a read of my ‘Mirror, Mirror’ post for some great tips on nutrition and loving yourself. 

Categories: Body Confidence

6 replies »

  1. This is great, and explains perfectly why I didn’t take to Meghan Trainor’s song that well, although I’m sure it was not her intention to hurt anyone. I love Tess Munster, and I love The Vintage Doll as well. I don’t understand why people feel like they need to pick one body type over the other, supporting one while bashing another one. It’s not right. ALL WOMEN ARE REAL WOMEN, AND ALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

  2. I think this is a super important issue particularly for young women. It is one of the hardest struggles womens go through and most women are hit with the brunt of it going through their development years, which unfortunately is when we are all the most vulnerable. It is so great of you to speak out about this issue. I know I come up against it everyday, and the struggle is real and it is hard. Anyone who doesn’t think this issue is a priority is obviously not aware of the effects this kind of pressure has on some people

  3. Right on! I do love the fun sound of the song, but when I actually listened to the words, I was horrified! I’ve posted about it, and talked about it with people – my little sister insists that it’s fine, because the next line is “I’m just playing…” When I explained that Megan follows that with “I know y’all think you’re fat”, making it sound like she’s hiding an insult in a pretend joke, she didn’t quite agree.

    Also, I do not call my friends ‘bitches’. Never have, never will. And commenting on someone else’s body is just not okay. I really do my best not to do this, because you just never know what is going on in someone else’s mind. Saying someone looks lovely is fine, saying they look too skinny, or too fat, or too anything, is not cool.

  4. Thank you for this wonderful post. I like how you referred to skinny girls as well. Since People often forget skinny Girls/women while talking about ‘It’s okay how you are’-topics.

    There is no too fat or too skinny, what matters is personality. It’s quite sad that especially woman are comparing each other and making others feel bad.

    But your post adopts such a positive attitude.

  5. I don’t know how I missed this post! Thank you for fostering a positive environment, we can never have too much 🙂 I, too, would never refer to my friends as “bitches,” even in a joking manner. Thick or thin, very curvy or slightly curvy, tall, short, and everything in between is beautiful and unique, especially when we focus on the inside rather then purely the physical aspect of others. <3

  6. I think it’s really sad that we live in a society where this is an issue that even requires a mention. Beauty is as beauty does. For instance, have you ever met someone whom you thought quite attractive at first, then gotten to know that person, only to change your opinion of them entirely…? My favourite pin-up of all time is the illustrious and highly altruistic Audrey Hepburn. Her beauty radiated so brightly, because she was unselfconsciously beautiful, and it was really very obvious over the years that her exterior appearance really didn’t matter that much to her at all. Instead, she was focused on things that really mattered, such as her substantial aid work and her leading role in Amnesty International. She was all about others, and focused on making a difference to the world, instead of engaging in narcissistically-driven self-promotion. She wasn’t one to spend hours in front of the mirror preening, and practicing poses. Perhaps, she said it best in her famous quote:

    “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

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